I want to document my memories of Bengt Eric Meynert, my Swedish husband, who passed away on the 2nd of March 2009 because of cancer.
I met Bengt through Ashok and Leela. Bengt and I started writing to each other with the intention of seeing if we could like each other enough to get married. I was working at GB Pant University of Agriculture and Technology at Pant Nagar in India.
After 1 and 1/2 years of correspondence Bengt invited me to spend summer vacations with him in Sweden. He sent me the ticket. I arrived in Copenhagen in my sari and a huge suitcase and cabin bag.
Before this Kunjachayan had already visited Bengt to whet him out and had highly recommended him.
My first impression of Bengt was a tall blue eyed blond haired Viking, hair bleached almost white. Bengt reminded me of my Profession and Supervisor, Dr Suresh Chandra Shukla, at Jamia Millia Islamia where I was teaching and doing my PhD..
Any way I had been fed well on the plane and taken care off by a German journalist in Frankfurt who offered to carry my cabin bag because I was struggling with my Sari. We drove from Copenhagen to Yngsjo in his old Volvo which was nearly vintage. I enjoyed the ride, talked a bit and then fell asleep.
I woke up as we drove into the Yngsjo cottage. Bengt jumped out and opened the door to the boot to let out the dog, a Schnauzer called RABALDER, a Greek name. The dog immediately came up to me and wagged his tail and adopted me.
The cottage was beautiful something nearly out of Nainital, Shimla and Ooty. I was shown my pink room that Bengt kept for his guests. Soon I was taken for a walk in the Pine forest and the beach which was 3 minutes from the cottage. After a hearty meal - a fish pie, Bengt said signature dish, I fell into deep slumber.
The next 3 days passed swiftly and on the 4th day Bengt asked me to marry him. We went to the jeweler and bought 2 engagement rings with our names on each of them and exchanged them. The engagement was announced in the local newspaper.
I was to discover later that Bengt was a well known man in this little town of Kristianstad, which had known him as a politician a few years ago, when he was the Liberal Folk Party leader and leader of the right wing opposition to the Social Democratic municipality government. Now he was only a University teacher in Organizational Theory and a single handed sailor.
I went sailing for the first time on his yellow coloured yacht called “Savage Girl”. It was an exercise in balancing on the boat that was rocking on Sea waves and throwing up.
Later I visited the town museum that housed local historical artefacts worth displaying; stayed with his brother Lennart´s family at an elite summer town called Bostad; visited his communist friend Lars Hansson and his family and finally went to a exclusive Swedish wedding of a colleague.
I returned to India engaged to be married to Bengt after 1 month and married Bengt after 6 months at the Parliament Street Free Church in Delhi. There were only 300 invites - immediate family and friends.
The honeymoon was travels to Taj Mahal, Khajuraho, Ahmedabad to Ajanta and Ellora caves and finally Goa where we ate delicious King Prawns and Crabs and Lobsters.
I arrived in Sweden to stay in February of 1985 and am still here in 2018- During this time I had to learn Swedish language which I mastered after 25 years. Went sailing with Bengt and his friends from Auhus to 3/4th way to Stockholm, found my sea legs and socialised every evening with sailing friends I joined Lund University for PHD programme in Education.
In between I got a job with Swedish Foreign Affairs social action department, the prestigious Swedish International Development Agency SIDA, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia as a Bilateral Associate Expert in a Women's Pilot Project.
Rest of the time I studied, worked, wrote a book, attended conferences around the world and lived mostly a calm postmodern life between Lund and Yngsjo. After Bengt passed away in 2009, I have taken over the cottage and worked for a living.
Sweden is rewarding in certain ways - I learnt about wines and international cuisine, travelled to 32 countries, interacted with European discourses and did things I would not have done from India.
I am now at cross roads not knowing whether to return back to India to my people after I retire or stay on and depend on the Swedish state in my old age.
Did I forget to say that Sweden is a Welfare State where poverty is not visible anymore. Schooling, University and Medical care is free.
I met Bengt through Ashok and Leela. Bengt and I started writing to each other with the intention of seeing if we could like each other enough to get married. I was working at GB Pant University of Agriculture and Technology at Pant Nagar in India.
After 1 and 1/2 years of correspondence Bengt invited me to spend summer vacations with him in Sweden. He sent me the ticket. I arrived in Copenhagen in my sari and a huge suitcase and cabin bag.
Before this Kunjachayan had already visited Bengt to whet him out and had highly recommended him.
My first impression of Bengt was a tall blue eyed blond haired Viking, hair bleached almost white. Bengt reminded me of my Profession and Supervisor, Dr Suresh Chandra Shukla, at Jamia Millia Islamia where I was teaching and doing my PhD..
Any way I had been fed well on the plane and taken care off by a German journalist in Frankfurt who offered to carry my cabin bag because I was struggling with my Sari. We drove from Copenhagen to Yngsjo in his old Volvo which was nearly vintage. I enjoyed the ride, talked a bit and then fell asleep.
I woke up as we drove into the Yngsjo cottage. Bengt jumped out and opened the door to the boot to let out the dog, a Schnauzer called RABALDER, a Greek name. The dog immediately came up to me and wagged his tail and adopted me.
The cottage was beautiful something nearly out of Nainital, Shimla and Ooty. I was shown my pink room that Bengt kept for his guests. Soon I was taken for a walk in the Pine forest and the beach which was 3 minutes from the cottage. After a hearty meal - a fish pie, Bengt said signature dish, I fell into deep slumber.
The next 3 days passed swiftly and on the 4th day Bengt asked me to marry him. We went to the jeweler and bought 2 engagement rings with our names on each of them and exchanged them. The engagement was announced in the local newspaper.
I was to discover later that Bengt was a well known man in this little town of Kristianstad, which had known him as a politician a few years ago, when he was the Liberal Folk Party leader and leader of the right wing opposition to the Social Democratic municipality government. Now he was only a University teacher in Organizational Theory and a single handed sailor.
I went sailing for the first time on his yellow coloured yacht called “Savage Girl”. It was an exercise in balancing on the boat that was rocking on Sea waves and throwing up.
Later I visited the town museum that housed local historical artefacts worth displaying; stayed with his brother Lennart´s family at an elite summer town called Bostad; visited his communist friend Lars Hansson and his family and finally went to a exclusive Swedish wedding of a colleague.
I returned to India engaged to be married to Bengt after 1 month and married Bengt after 6 months at the Parliament Street Free Church in Delhi. There were only 300 invites - immediate family and friends.
The honeymoon was travels to Taj Mahal, Khajuraho, Ahmedabad to Ajanta and Ellora caves and finally Goa where we ate delicious King Prawns and Crabs and Lobsters.
I arrived in Sweden to stay in February of 1985 and am still here in 2018- During this time I had to learn Swedish language which I mastered after 25 years. Went sailing with Bengt and his friends from Auhus to 3/4th way to Stockholm, found my sea legs and socialised every evening with sailing friends I joined Lund University for PHD programme in Education.
In between I got a job with Swedish Foreign Affairs social action department, the prestigious Swedish International Development Agency SIDA, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia as a Bilateral Associate Expert in a Women's Pilot Project.
Rest of the time I studied, worked, wrote a book, attended conferences around the world and lived mostly a calm postmodern life between Lund and Yngsjo. After Bengt passed away in 2009, I have taken over the cottage and worked for a living.
Sweden is rewarding in certain ways - I learnt about wines and international cuisine, travelled to 32 countries, interacted with European discourses and did things I would not have done from India.
I am now at cross roads not knowing whether to return back to India to my people after I retire or stay on and depend on the Swedish state in my old age.
Did I forget to say that Sweden is a Welfare State where poverty is not visible anymore. Schooling, University and Medical care is free.
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